What Would You Do?

November 30th, 2005 | Posted in » My Life / Family

Here’s a quandary I’ve got right now…

A sibling has purchased and sent a Christmas gift to my three-year-old. Nothing wrong with that in itself, but the gift is rather excessive (costing more than any two of the gifts my wife and I have bought for our children), and for that reason, feels wholly inappropriate. We’ve always bought gifts for each other (and now each other’s kids), but never anything too expensive or extravagent.

My wife and I would very much like to keep Christmas gifts within reason, so as not to distract our kids from what Christmas is really all about… Jesus. My sibling does not understand this fact, and celebrates Christmas in a far more secular manner.

I’m most curious to hear what others would do… I’m quite perplexed as to how I want to handle this. On one hand, I want to talk to my sibling and request that the gift be returned or exchanged for something more reasonable… on the other, I feel that perhaps I should just be gracious, allow the gift to be given, and express thanks.

So… what would you do?

3 Responses to “What Would You Do?”

  1. By Judah on Dec 1, 2005

    This happened once in my family and I know how awkward it can be to handle successfully.

    Firstly, your 3 year old is unlikely to recognize the commercial value of the gift, little kids having their own very different way of valuing everything. You can see this quite dramatically if you try replacing the old worn-out (much loved) teddybear with a swanky new expensive one!
    The expensiveness of the gift reflects the generosity of the giver, and is likely to represent the love that is felt for your child. Uncles and aunts, and especially grandparents, are very liable to splash out in this way.

    To return a gift can be very hurtful for the giver, felt as a rejection of the love they want to show your child, and also cause embarrassment.
    Is it so bad that on this one occasion that such a gift has been given?

    I would accept the gift graciously with humility and gratitude.

    But I would also find an occasion some time later on to have a discussion about the things that are important to you in raising your children, and on the kinds of gifts that you feel are appropriate for them. Perhaps such a gift is better given for a birthday, rather than at Christmas, although you may want to suggest keeping the dollar cost of presents to a certain amount. The most valuable gifts are not material things, and maybe the suggestion of some alternatives would be acceptable to your sibling – some special treat shared, or a planned outing, a time together doing something fun and different. Those gifts of self and time are especially generous.

    Whichever way you choose to go, I personally don’t think it is too serious that this has happened this once. But I would have some discussion before it happens again next Christmas.

    Just my 2c worth! :)

  2. By John on Dec 2, 2005

    Thanks for the input, Judah.

    I think we’ve come to a decision on how to address this… accepting the gift graciously, but not opening it until the next time my sibling and our families are together (probably in mid-January). Obviously, I will share this with my sibling, simply telling them that we’d like them to be present when my children open their gifts from them.

    This way, those gifts from my sibling will obviously be separate from our celebration of Christmas, and should not jade my children’s views in any way as to what we are trying to instill in them about Christmas… that the celebration of Christmas is not about trees, lights, and gifts, but the celebration of the coming of Jesus to mankind in the form of a tiny baby.

  3. By Judah on Dec 3, 2005

    You are the epitome of diplomacy! :)
    That does sound like a good solution. Then all can enjoy your child’s excitement and pleasure in receiving such a gift – and it is such sharing that really is important, even more so than the gift itself.

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